A word of caution to those considering opening up a monogamous relationship I met my best friend Kyla almost a decade ago and, at the time, she was the only polyamorous person I had ever met. I was five years into a struggling, fairly one-sided relationship and I had a […]
Is Compersion Possible for People with Anxiety?
As with any subculture that exists in opposition to the mainstream, polyamory is rife with gatekeepers and purists who insist there is only One Right Way to be poly. Read a book on non-monogamy or hang around enough poly Facebook groups and you will see the term “compersion” a lot. […]
I Deleted Tinder Because I’m Tired of Feeling Disposable
In May of this year my long-term girlfriend broke up with me. And while that chapter of my life was particularly devastating, this is about what came next: a seemingly never-ending flurry of first dates, dudes who weren’t “looking for anything serious right now,” some long-term, mutually satisfying Friends with […]
‘Is This a Date?’ and Other Questions I’ve Asked Myself While Kissing A Girl I Am Most Definitely On a Date With
Look. I am not very good at dating, period. I am awkward, and not always in a cute or endearing way. I make real actual lists of questions to ask people that I really actually pull out of my purse while on dates with them. And I will not, under […]
Big Feelings 2: More Poems More Feelings
primary at night we sleep with our backs turned but our limbs intertwined like sea otters i don’t want you to float too far away from me you know the music that makes you feel like you’re sixteen again? falling madly in love with everyone who smiles at […]
What’s Your Non-Monogamy Style? From ‘Monogamish’ to ‘Open’ and Beyond
So, at this point y’all know I identify as polyamorous. This means, for me, that I am capable of being in love with more than one person at a time, and I am also capable of being in multiple romantic relationships at once. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I always […]
Talking to Your Partner About Opening Up Your Relationship
I have asked for some version of non-monogamy in every relationship I’ve ever had. In two out of three instances, I was looking for a chance to date other people because I was deeply unhappy with the relationship I was in, but too afraid to end things and risk being […]
Big Feelings: A Poetry Interlude
my first second love i asked you what it was like to be in love with two people at the same time you said ‘it’s like growing a second pair of lungs’ it’s ironic because sometimes there’s so much goodness in this i feel like i might suffocate femme […]
On Opening Up: Why Non-Monogamy is for Me
A version of this post was previously published on Riots Not Diets in 2015. If you had told me that leading up to my wedding I would find myself deeply in love with more than one person, I would probably have laughed at you. It’s not that I ever thought […]
What is The Good & Plenty?
It’s not licorice candy, that’s for sure! (Because let’s be real here, an actual Good & Plenty is kind of disgusting.) So now that I’ve successfully alienated the 12% of people in the world who like black licorice… welcome, y’all! The Good and Plenty is a new blog-like project from […]