When my husband and I first decided to explore non-monogamy, we did our research. Equipped with books, articles, and an incredibly thorough relationship agreement, I thought we were ready for anything. But as with most things in life, nothing I read could fully prepare me for the actual experience of […]
How I Spent My Depression Vacation
Okay so. It’s been awhile. Obviously. And I could regale you with all the chaotic and difficult and sad details, but I’d really rather not. Suffice it to say that so far 2018 has not been my best year ever. But I’m still here. And for the first time in […]
It’s Okay
Yesterday I ended things with someone I had been seeing for almost five months. No condolences are necessary here. Ours was not some grand, life-altering love story. It was just a thing, a nice little thing, and now it’s not a thing. And that’s okay. It’s okay to exit relationships […]
Fat on Purpose
Big boned. Slow metabolism. Thyroid disorder. “It’s genetic.” When I was younger, I clung to these words like a shield. Having an explanation for my weight made living as a fat person just a little more bearable. People were nicer to me, as long as I had a reason for […]
“Fat Girls Are Easy”: Why Your Myths About Us Matter
Last week news broke that a judge called a 17-year-old sexual assault victim “overweight” and said she was likely “flattered” by the attention that her 49-year-old abuser inflicted on her. An official complaint filed against the judge states that he said that although she was fat, she had a “pretty […]
‘Is This a Date?’ and Other Questions I’ve Asked Myself While Kissing A Girl I Am Most Definitely On a Date With
Look. I am not very good at dating, period. I am awkward, and not always in a cute or endearing way. I make real actual lists of questions to ask people that I really actually pull out of my purse while on dates with them. And I will not, under […]
Mixed Race But White-Passing: Fatness, Race, and Identity
My latinx hides behind blue eyes, light hair, and peach-colored skin. It’s obscured by my Scandinavian last name, a tongue that can’t roll its Rs, and a mouth that only knows English. I am what is called white-passing. Yes, there are white Latinx people in the world, but my whiteness […]
Big Feelings 2: More Poems More Feelings
primary at night we sleep with our backs turned but our limbs intertwined like sea otters i don’t want you to float too far away from me you know the music that makes you feel like you’re sixteen again? falling madly in love with everyone who smiles at […]
What’s Your Non-Monogamy Style? From ‘Monogamish’ to ‘Open’ and Beyond
So, at this point y’all know I identify as polyamorous. This means, for me, that I am capable of being in love with more than one person at a time, and I am also capable of being in multiple romantic relationships at once. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I always […]
How Sleeping With “Fat Admirers” Changed My Sex Life Forever
I was a nervous wreck the first time my internet boyfriend picked me up from the airport. We met in late June and were deeply, madly in love by August 3rd (I checked my diary just to be sure). We made plans for me to spend the week with them […]