A word of caution to those considering opening up a monogamous relationship I met my best friend Kyla almost a decade ago and, at the time, she was the only polyamorous person I had ever met. I was five years into a struggling, fairly one-sided relationship and I had a […]
To be fat and free at the beach
I think a lot about what it is to feel free. Like drifting slowly through soft pink sunlit clouds. Effortless. Weightless. No tension in the thick muscles of my neck and shoulders. My spine elongated, my limbs extended and my fingers outstretched. If there’s resistance I don’t feel it. I […]
Good & Plenty Role Models: Meet Myles!
Welcome to a new series I’m calling Good & Plenty Role Models! In this series I will be highlighting other fat, non-monogamous people who are finding the best ways to navigate their lives in their big bodies and with their big hearts. Meet Myles. He’s a therapist, graduate student, and […]
Is Compersion Possible for People with Anxiety?
As with any subculture that exists in opposition to the mainstream, polyamory is rife with gatekeepers and purists who insist there is only One Right Way to be poly. Read a book on non-monogamy or hang around enough poly Facebook groups and you will see the term “compersion” a lot. […]
Here’s What Happened When I Invoiced Someone for My Emotional Labor
We “dated” for just a couple weeks, but our connection was immediate and undeniable. He was, I thought, everything I was looking for: witty, intelligent, argumentative (in a fun way), and so sweet… he also had a job, his own place, and he didn’t care that I was polyamorous. He […]
Monogamous by Default,
Polyamorous by Choice
Hello, my name is Margitte and I am ambiamorous — which is just a fancy way of saying that I’m happy being monogamous or non-monogamous. So why choose polyamory, when monogamy is the norm? In terms of basic logistics, it’s certainly easier to be monogamous. There’s less to calendar, more […]
I Deleted Tinder Because I’m Tired of Feeling Disposable
In May of this year my long-term girlfriend broke up with me. And while that chapter of my life was particularly devastating, this is about what came next: a seemingly never-ending flurry of first dates, dudes who weren’t “looking for anything serious right now,” some long-term, mutually satisfying Friends with […]
A Beginner’s Guide to (Some) Polyamory Pitfalls
When my husband and I first decided to explore non-monogamy, we did our research. Equipped with books, articles, and an incredibly thorough relationship agreement, I thought we were ready for anything. But as with most things in life, nothing I read could fully prepare me for the actual experience of […]
It’s Okay
Yesterday I ended things with someone I had been seeing for almost five months. No condolences are necessary here. Ours was not some grand, life-altering love story. It was just a thing, a nice little thing, and now it’s not a thing. And that’s okay. It’s okay to exit relationships […]
‘Is This a Date?’ and Other Questions I’ve Asked Myself While Kissing A Girl I Am Most Definitely On a Date With
Look. I am not very good at dating, period. I am awkward, and not always in a cute or endearing way. I make real actual lists of questions to ask people that I really actually pull out of my purse while on dates with them. And I will not, under […]