big body, bigger heart
In May of this year my long-term girlfriend broke up with me. And while that chapter of my life was particularly devastating, this is about what came next: a seemingly never-ending flurry of first dates, dudes who weren’t “looking for anything serious right now,” some long-term, mutually satisfying Friends with […]
“For decades, the medical community has ignored mountains of evidence to wage a cruel and futile war on fat people, poisoning public perception and ruining millions of lives.” Last week the Huffington Post published an article that, for many fat people, felt nothing short of revolutionary. The audacious headline, “Everything […]
They say capitalism is killing us. So what are we going to do about it? Massive content warning for frank discussions of mental illness, suicidal ideation, and how very shitty living in the world is for a lot of people I care about. “You know how when you’re driving […]
When my husband and I first decided to explore non-monogamy, we did our research. Equipped with books, articles, and an incredibly thorough relationship agreement, I thought we were ready for anything. But as with most things in life, nothing I read could fully prepare me for the actual experience of […]
Okay so. It’s been awhile. Obviously. And I could regale you with all the chaotic and difficult and sad details, but I’d really rather not. Suffice it to say that so far 2018 has not been my best year ever. But I’m still here. And for the first time in […]
Yesterday I ended things with someone I had been seeing for almost five months. No condolences are necessary here. Ours was not some grand, life-altering love story. It was just a thing, a nice little thing, and now it’s not a thing. And that’s okay. It’s okay to exit relationships […]
Big boned. Slow metabolism. Thyroid disorder. “It’s genetic.” When I was younger, I clung to these words like a shield. Having an explanation for my weight made living as a fat person just a little more bearable. People were nicer to me, as long as I had a reason for […]
Last week news broke that a judge called a 17-year-old sexual assault victim “overweight” and said she was likely “flattered” by the attention that her 49-year-old abuser inflicted on her. An official complaint filed against the judge states that he said that although she was fat, she had a “pretty […]
Look. I am not very good at dating, period. I am awkward, and not always in a cute or endearing way. I make real actual lists of questions to ask people that I really actually pull out of my purse while on dates with them. And I will not, under […]
My latinx hides behind blue eyes, light hair, and peach-colored skin. It’s obscured by my Scandinavian last name, a tongue that can’t roll its Rs, and a mouth that only knows English. I am what is called white-passing. Yes, there are white Latinx people in the world, but my whiteness […]