A word of caution to those considering opening up a monogamous relationship I met my best friend Kyla almost a decade ago and, at the time, she was the only polyamorous person I had ever met. I was five years into a struggling, fairly one-sided relationship and I had a […]
Like a knife to my belly
How do you love an imperfect body? I’ve spent hours lecturing people about exactly this. Days writing about it. Weeks, months even, thinking about it. A decade immersed in the idea that there is no wrong way to have a body, that fat bodies are good bodies, that my fat […]
To be fat and free at the beach
I think a lot about what it is to feel free. Like drifting slowly through soft pink sunlit clouds. Effortless. Weightless. No tension in the thick muscles of my neck and shoulders. My spine elongated, my limbs extended and my fingers outstretched. If there’s resistance I don’t feel it. I […]
Good & Plenty Role Models: Meet Myles!
Welcome to a new series I’m calling Good & Plenty Role Models! In this series I will be highlighting other fat, non-monogamous people who are finding the best ways to navigate their lives in their big bodies and with their big hearts. Meet Myles. He’s a therapist, graduate student, and […]
Is Compersion Possible for People with Anxiety?
As with any subculture that exists in opposition to the mainstream, polyamory is rife with gatekeepers and purists who insist there is only One Right Way to be poly. Read a book on non-monogamy or hang around enough poly Facebook groups and you will see the term “compersion” a lot. […]
Here’s What Happened When I Invoiced Someone for My Emotional Labor
We “dated” for just a couple weeks, but our connection was immediate and undeniable. He was, I thought, everything I was looking for: witty, intelligent, argumentative (in a fun way), and so sweet… he also had a job, his own place, and he didn’t care that I was polyamorous. He […]
Is 2019 the Year of the Fat Girl? Living in the Age of Lizzo and Shrill
I was in third grade when I first realized I was fat. It was 1994 and I spent most of my time listening to TLC’s CrazySexyCool on repeat and writing Jonathan Taylor Thomas fanfiction. I didn’t really think much about my body, until my third grade teacher pulled my dad […]
Monogamous by Default,
Polyamorous by Choice
Hello, my name is Margitte and I am ambiamorous — which is just a fancy way of saying that I’m happy being monogamous or non-monogamous. So why choose polyamory, when monogamy is the norm? In terms of basic logistics, it’s certainly easier to be monogamous. There’s less to calendar, more […]
I Deleted Tinder Because I’m Tired of Feeling Disposable
In May of this year my long-term girlfriend broke up with me. And while that chapter of my life was particularly devastating, this is about what came next: a seemingly never-ending flurry of first dates, dudes who weren’t “looking for anything serious right now,” some long-term, mutually satisfying Friends with […]
Everything You Know About ‘Obesity’ is Still Wrong
“For decades, the medical community has ignored mountains of evidence to wage a cruel and futile war on fat people, poisoning public perception and ruining millions of lives.” Last week the Huffington Post published an article that, for many fat people, felt nothing short of revolutionary. The audacious headline, “Everything […]